The Black Eye
by portmanteaux
Summary: Set during Season 3, I guess. Kurt accidentally gets a black eye, and nobody ever believes the story of a black eye.


This is set sometime in Season 3. It's just a silly little thing based on one of my favorite episodes of "I Love Lucy." I thought it would be funny to see the New Directions try and stage a spontaneous intervention for Kurt and Blaine.

* * *

Blaine was dancing like a fool. Kurt was dancing, too, though he liked to think he was being a bit more graceful than the flailing of limbs he was watching from behind. Though, the view of Blaine from behind certainly wasn't bad. Laughing, Kurt's sashay naturally gave way to a little twirl-

And then he was tripping over his own designer boots, lurching forward toward Blaine. The last thing he saw was Blaine's outstretched elbow, and then there was a terrible pain in his eye, and then in his knees as he landed on the floor of Blaine's living room.

"Oh, god, Kurt, are you all right?" Blaine was on his knees at Kurt's side in a heartbeat, helping him to a sitting position. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you!"

Kurt was clutching at the explosion of pain that used to be his face. "I tripped."

"Let me see?" Blaine's warm hands cradled Kurt's head, thumb softly stroking the uninjured side of his face. Kurt removed his hand and winced at the movement. "Maybe we should get this looked at to make sure nothing's broken."

Kurt nodded and let himself be lifted and sat on the couch while Blaine disappeared for a moment. He returned with a bag of frozen corn. "Here, put this on your eye. It'll help with the pain and swelling."

Blaine pressed the bag gently against the left side of Kurt's face, and Kurt lifted a hand to take over the duty of holding it there. "Can you walk? I'll drive you to urgent care and then take you home."

"Yeah," Kurt answered, wincing again at the movement of his face. "I'm all right, it just hurts."

"Kurt, I'm _so_ _sorry_," Blaine said again. When Kurt looked up at him, the worry on his face made Kurt feel worse.

"It wasn't your fault. I tripped and fell right into your elbow."

"Come on."

The drive was short, and the waiting room wasn't too crowded, so Blaine helped Kurt fill out the necessary paperwork and held his hand the rest of the time, flipping through an old issue of _People_ and pointing out ridiculous photos of celebrities to distract Kurt.

The doctor explained to both of them-since Kurt refused to let go of Blaine's hand-that there were no breaks or internal injuries, and the bruising and swelling of the black eye should go away on its own in a week or so.

"Black eye?" Kurt had squeaked.

Just a glance in the rear view mirror once they were back in the car had confirmed it.

Blaine had barely stopped touching Kurt through the whole process, and that was comforting to Kurt because Kurt always felt better when Blaine was touching him. But in the car on the way to Kurt's house, Blaine was silent and tense and Kurt felt like he was the one who should be doing the comforting.

"I've never had a black eye before," he said conversationally. "This isn't my first dancing injury, though. I broke my ankle roller-dancing when I was ten." Blaine didn't respond, so he kept trying. "You know, almost exactly the same thing happened to Rachel a couple of years ago, but it was much worse. She didn't fall, she just danced too close to Finn's flailing. He broke her nose. Then, of course, it turned into a crisis over whether she wanted to use the opportunity to get a nose job."

Kurt had to turn his head forty-five degrees to see Blaine with his right eye, and looking at him made him stop talking. He looked horrified. "Blaine-"

"I gave you a black eye, Kurt!" he exclaimed.

"You didn't," Kurt answered firmly. "It was at least 90% gravity. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Everyone will think I got in a fight or something. I'll just tell them they should see the _other_ guy."

Blaine glanced over at him and seemed to soften a bit at the weak joke. He stroked Kurt's knuckles with his thumb and refocused on the road.

They pulled into Kurt's driveway and Blaine hurried to the passenger side to open the door and help him out of the car. Kurt was perfectly capable of walking on his own, but he let Blaine wrap an arm around him and lead him up to the front door.

"Kurt, just in time, Carole and Finn said they-" Burt's sentence ended when he saw Kurt and Blaine, both looking pale and upset, and Kurt with an ice pack over his eye. "What happened?"

Kurt's hand drooped just a bit, and Burt caught a glimpse of the bruising underneath. Words like 'Karofsky' and 'hate crime' flashed through Burt's head. Neither of the boys had been prepared to deal with Burt, whose expression had quickly changed from cheerful to murderous. "Who the hell did this to you?"

Startled, Kurt glanced at Blaine, and he must have looked a little frightened, and Burt must have noticed. The guilty look on Blaine's face certainly did not escape him. "You son of a bitch!"

Kurt didn't know what he expected Burt's reaction to be, but it wasn't this. "Dad, no-"

"I didn't-" Blaine said, shocked and scared and gripping Kurt more tightly now. "I would never-"

"You get your hands off my son and let Kurt do the talking."

Blaine froze and dropped his hands away from Kurt.

Kurt shot a glare at his father and reached for Blaine's hand, entwining their fingers. "Please don't speak to him like that. He doesn't deserve it. It was a freak accident. We were dancing, just being silly, and I tripped. I landed on his elbow. He was an innocent bystander."

"That sounds ridiculous. You expect me to believe that?" Burt asked, watching Kurt closely.

"It's the truth," Kurt answered. "It wasn't my most graceful moment, but it wasn't anyone's fault. Well, except maybe my Marc Jacobs boots." Kurt's shock was fading now, and quickly being replaced by anger. "You can't possibly believe that Blaine is capable of purposefully hurting me! And if someone did _punch me in the face_, that I would lie to you about it!"

Burt watched him for a second longer than was a comfortable length for Kurt, and then turned and looked at Blaine. His eyes were unfocused, and he looked like he might fall apart at any moment.

Burt reached out and put a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Blaine, son" Burt said, the edge gone from his voice. "I owe you an apology."

"It's all right. I'd want to murder anyone I thought punched Kurt, too."

Burt huffed an almost-laugh at that. "It's not all right."

Blaine finally looked up and met his eyes. "It hurts you when Kurt gets hurt. You and me, both. You're a part of the family, and I trust you. I just went a little crazy."

Blaine nodded and blinked a few times, giving a tight smile. Burt let go of him, and for the first time, Blaine remembered he had Kurt's bag slung around his shoulder and set it down on the table. "We just came from urgent care. His eye is fine and nothing's broken. It's just a black eye. He needs to ice it for twenty minutes every hour and take ibuprofen for the swelling."

Burt nodded. "Thanks for taking care of him."

"Always," Blaine said softly.

Kurt rolled his eyes-well, only the visible one was effective-at them talking about him as if he weren't in the room. Now that the crisis was abating, the pain and general unpleasantness of the situation was catching up with him. He waved a hand at them dramatically. "Well, if we're done discussing the _invalid _or the _battered spouse_ or whatever it is I am, I'm going to go start on a modified skin routine. Try to minimize the 'black' part of 'black eye.'"

"All right, kiddo. Carole and Finn are seeing a movie at eight-thirty, do you want to come?"

"No, thanks. You go, Dad, have fun."

Burt nodded and looked at Blaine expectantly. Blaine got the distinct feeling he was meant to take his leave and get out of there. "Your car is at my house," he reminded Kurt.

"I'll ride with Finn to school and go home with you afterward. If that's okay?" Kurt said, now looking at his dad.

Burt nodded.

Kurt kept looking at him, and he got the hint, leaving the kitchen in favor of finding his keys and getting ready to leave for the movie.

"He means well, honestly," Kurt said, a bit exasperated.

"It's fine. He's protecting you, that's his job." Blaine stepped closer and gently touched Kurt's cheek. "I'm sorry for marring your beautiful skin."

Kurt leaned into the touch and slid his own hand to rest on Blaine's chest. "It's okay. I'm okay. Text me when you get home."

Blaine nodded and kissed him softly, just a brush of lips that wasn't enough.

* * *

"I tripped. Blaine was dancing, and his elbow was in the way of my face. It wasn't his fault," Kurt explained, blasé mask firmly in place. Under his breath, he added, "There is just no way to say that that doesn't sound suspicious."

"Right, like any of us believe that story. It's slightly better than 'I walked into a door'. We saw exactly the same thing with Coach Beiste," said Santana.

"Nobody beats up on Kurt. Not anymore." Puck managed to sound sort of threatening as he glared at Blaine.

"You guys, I'm pretty sure it was just an accident, especially since Kurt's dad didn't murder Blaine last night after they told him. Besides, the same thing happened with me and Rachel," Finn shrugged.

"Except Blaine's a much better dancer," Kurt hastened to add, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"That's what makes it so unbelievable. Finn's dancing is pretty dangerous, but what are the chances of Blaine's elbow just accidentally hitting you in the eye?"

"Don't get a nose job, Kurt. You're a unicorn."

"I believe you guys," Mercedes offered from across the room. "No way Blaine would hurt Kurt on purpose."

Will Schuester chose this moment for his entrance. "What's going on, guys?"

"I have a black eye because Ricky accidentally threw a book at me, and now Fred and Ethel are staging an intervention," Kurt answered.

Mr. Schue was confused. "Kurt, what happened to your eye?"

"Who's Ricky?" Brittany asked.

"It was Blaine's elbow," Finn piped up. "It was an accident."

"It just seems like a pretty far-fetched explanation," Rachel said reasonably. "We're concerned that Kurt might be covering for someone who hurt him."

"And you think it was me." Blaine finished her thought for her with disgust. His grip on Kurt's hand was getting steadily tighter as the conversation wore on.

"I would never hit a girl. But it's a relationship with _two guys,_" Puck observed. "A guy gets me angry, I might hit him."

"Even if the guy was Kurt?" said Mike. Blaine's expression grew darker at that.

"It's not okay for anyone to hit their partner," Quinn piped up. "It's not just about men hitting women. Domestic violence happens in same-sex couples, too."

"Besides, it's not like Lady Face here would have much of a chance in a fight with Blaine. Hobbit's little, but he's solid, and he boxes." The leer with which Santana said this was a bit uncomfortable for everyone.

Blaine exploded. "It's really insulting for you to sit there and call Kurt 'lady' and imply that he's somehow 'the girl' in our relationship, or that he's _weak_ because you all know that he _isn't_."

Blaine stood and turned to face the group. "I am glad that you stood up for Kurt last year when he was being bullied, but right now you have no idea what you're talking about, you're insulting him, and you're insulting me. I thought at least some of you were _my _friends, too. And you think that _I_ would hurt _Kurt_? He's been slushied and thrown in dumpsters and verbally insulted by some of the people in this room, and I'm not one of them."

Thoroughly chastised, no one in the room spoke. Blaine took a breath, shook his head, and headed for the door.

"Sorry, Mr. Schue," he murmured on his way out.

"Don't worry about it, Blaine," their teacher replied, throwing disappointed looks at his remaining students.

Kurt stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "I appreciate you wanting to protect me, if not your ham-fisted methods and awful accusations." He glanced around the room in goodbye and followed his boyfriend out, leaving them to the scolding they were sure to get from their teacher.

Kurt found him quickly and climbed into the passenger seat of Blaine's car, where Blaine was sitting in silence.

"I really, _really_ love you," Kurt said.

Blaine smiled at him. Smiles from Blaine had been rare over the past couple of days. "I'm sorry for blowing up like that."

"They deserved it."

"I love you so much. Our friends are idiots."

"Every last one," Kurt agreed with a nod.

"Still. I'm glad there are so many people ready to go to bat for you if they think someone hurt you."

"They know you better than that, though. I'm sorry for the way they're treating you."

"Hey. Don't. You've been through a lot with them, and they're protective of you. Maybe more now because they felt like they couldn't protect you before when you really needed it. I get that. It's not really about me at all."

"They should trust you."

"They do. But things like this _do_ happen. Seemingly nice guys get violent with their partners, and they wouldn't be the great friends they are if they weren't thorough."

"Are you even real?"

Blaine laughed. "Do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?"

Kurt pursed his lips in thought. "Only if we can make out during the boring parts."

Blaine faux-sighed. "I guess so."


End file.
